It's all staged.
Friday, May 25, 2012
A Mother's Love - Happy Birthday AK!
We know we get a lot of different reactions when people first visit our page...
This is awesome!
I suck as a mom.
Are these people serious?
I love this!
It's all staged.
It's all staged.
These people are crazy.
How do they come up with this stuff?
I know it’s sometimes difficult to know what type of mothers we really are by seeing a bunch of pictures of our children. Especially when a newbie comes aboard and sees a picture of AK’s son laying on a speed bump in the middle of the road. LOL LOL To be honest if I was a new “liker” and that was the first picture I saw I’d probably say WTH, too! There are times when a debate can get pretty heated and I usually say to myself “if they only knew her as a real person”. I’ve wanted to write this for a while, but time is limited now! Anyway…. Here is my
“If you only knew AK”
If you only knew AK you would know that she is a “Yes Mom”, a positive parent, and she absolutely believes in the power of play. All these qualities as a parent are great just on their own. However, when you combine the three…. Wonderful and amazing things happen.
If you only knew AK, you would know that she is:
Patient- I remember a time when AK’s son didn’t like getting in his car seat right away. He liked to “drive”, press buttons, and explore. After EVERY trip to the park, store, etc. he would “drive” while she patiently waited for him to move on. This lasted a good two months and is just one story out of many similar ones…. Yes, I will wait while you explore that creek. Yes, I will wait while you put your shoes on… even though I know I could do it for you much quicker. Yes, I will wait until YOU are ready to ride your bike, swim in the pool, and go down that big slide. Yes, I know sometimes you get frustrated and upset over things that may seem little to me, but I know are big to you. I will stay by your side and comfort and support you until you are ready to process those feelings on your own.
"I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities...I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life. Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love." - Bruce Scott
Understanding- There are no battles/struggles/tantrums in her home. This is highly due to her understanding for her son. She allows him to feel and accepts those feelings. There is NEVER “no crying” or “stop crying”. It is ALWAYS… Yes, you may have feelings. Yes, you may cry in my arms.
“Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you're lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” - Joan Ryan
Trustworthy- Her son trusts her truly and completely 100%. We were at the playground one day and AK’s son was playing with some other boys off in the distance. There was a big electrical box not too far off from where they were playing. All the boys started to walk towards it. AK called out to her son something along the lines of “Please stay where I can see you.” All the other boys kept walking and AK’s son sat there and stared at her. Once they made eye contact she said again “Please stay where I can see you.” He looked at the boys that were clearly not listening (their mothers were all running towards them and screaming for them to stop) and he turned around and came back to the playground. Wow! A newly three year old not only withstood the peer-pressure, but he made his decision based off the love and trust he has for his mother… not a decision based off fear.
“Treat me exactly as you would want me to treat you - exactly. Do not punish me ever. Teach me. Hold me. Love me. Trust that I, just like you, want to do what is right. Help me understand what I don’t know. Don't call me names, or label me or compare me, or make me compete for anything. Help me cooperate and collaborate. Be the example for me.” – Bruce Scott
Loving- AK not only has an enormous amount of love for her son but she has so much love for ALL children. AK’s mom was in town visiting and we were at the playground (surprise surprise). I am not sure exactly what happened but it ended with a mother carrying her kicking/screaming/crying son to the car to go home. AK’s mom said “I feel bad for the mother in those situations.” AK looked at her mom like she was crazy and said: “I don’t… I feel bad for the child.” Her mom went on to explain her reasoning and then it was left at that. She wasn’t going to sit there and argue with her mom. However, you could in her eyes the love for that child. I’m sure she was thinking…
Did he have a bad day at school?
Is he jealous of a brother or sister?
Is he tired?
Is he hungry?
Is he a little bit of everything mentioned above?
Instead of seeing…
Johnny threw sand at Mikey and now you will go home whether you like it or not…
Wow! Johnny is having some big feelings to throw sand at Mikey. Let me connect with my child to find out what’s going on for him to want to do that.
“A person’s a person no matter how small” – Dr. Seuss
Kind- AK treats my girls EXACTLY as she treats her own son. I couldn’t ask for a better environment for my girls to grow up in. We are together almost everyday and there is not a thing she wouldn’t do for them or me. She’s always there to lend a helping hand when I need it. While on “play dates” you see a true YES mom in action. YES, I will change the swing out for you AGAIN. YES, I will spin you around again, and again, and again. YES, I will bounce you on this yoga ball even though it is a royal PITA! She treats my girls with love and respect and they absolutely adore her.
“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.” – Dickson
Thankful- Everyday spent with her son is another day she is grateful. She never needs a break or time away because she truly cherishes every single moment of him by her side.
Believable, trust them.
Childlike, let them.
Divine, respect them.
Energetic, nourish them.
Fallible, embrace them.
Gifts, unwrap them.
Here Now, be with them.
Innocent, delight in them.
Joyful, appreciate them.
Kindhearted, join them.
Lovable, love them.
Magical, fly with them.
Noble, esteem them.
Open-minded, hear them.
Precious, treasure them.
Questioners, encourage them.
Resourceful, support them.
Spontaneous, enjoy them.
Talented, believe in them.
Unique, affirm them.
Vulnerable, protect them.
Whole, recognize them.
Xtraspecial, celebrate them.
Yearning, notice them.
Zany, laugh with them.
© Meiji Stewart.
Playful- When I asked my oldest what she wanted to get AK for her birthday this was our conversation:
RL – What would you like to get AK for her birthday?
B- I don’t know
RL-What does she like to do?
B- Play… Play and spin me around!!!
RL-You are ABSOLUTELY right! AK loves to PLAY and spin you around.
I tried to teach my child with books.
He gave me only puzzled looks.
I tried to teach my child with words.
They passed him by often unheard.
Despairingly, I turned aside.
"How shall I teach this child?" I cried.
Into my hand he put the key
"Come," he said, "play with me."
While searching for a present for AK we tried to work in all the things I mentioned above into a gift for her. I contacted Megan Darienzo with the hopes she could put something together for me. We went back and forth with ideas and she came up with this AMAZING necklace. My original suggestion was some type of boy playing with a ball and her son’s birthstone as the “ball”. I’m so glad when this picture popped up on my screen instead of a boy! LOL Let’s leave the necklace making up to the professionals. J I’m absolutely in love with the way in came out and we hope you are, too AK!
To see more of Megan's incredible work visit her:
Happy Birthday to an amazing Mother, Wife, Daughter, and Friend.
We love you and are forever grateful for our friendship.
Posted by Play At Home Mom at 3:25 AM